How Guilt and Shame Can Undermine Your Recovery

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Guilt and shame run deep, especially when these emotions are from past trauma, such as domestic violence, sexual abuse, survivor’s guilt or other issues of post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD). Yes, there are things about the past we wish we could change. But we’re trying to be better – and that counts for a lot. These emotions can be difficult to face, but once we do, we take an  amazing step in our recovery. Let’s take a closer look at these emotions and how to manage them.

guilt and shame in recovery

It is okay to put it out there and let them think about it. Self-forgiveness also takes time, so don’t hesitate to start working on how to forgive yourself and heal. Shame and guilt are common emotions, and we’ve all experienced them many times. Most people deal with them successfully, but for those with a substance abuse disorder, guilt, and shame can fuel their addictions. Within this muddled battlefield of emotions and deficiencies, addiction is created. Read this article to learn how guilt and shame can potentially create, feed and destroy addiction.

How Do You Deal With Shame And Regret?

Feelings of guilt and shame have no purpose in your new life, especially once you have completed Step Five. Instead of allowing residual feelings of shame or guilt to define you as a person, box them up and discard them. Otherwise, those feelings may fester and begin to undermine your recovery efforts.

  • While guilt and shame are very similar emotions, there are many differences between the two, and recognizing them is important.
  • The important thing is to recognize the behavior, and let it out rather than keep it inside.
  • Our locations give you the proper space for reflection and rest, allowing you to become your best self while healing from your past.
  • While you should take stock of the errors made and make amends to those you might have hurt, it’s important not to get stuck in the past and then allow those memories to shape your present.

When a newly sober person is surrounded by those who have experience in recovery, the door opens to understanding. The newcomer will be reminded to confront past indiscretions with gentle self-care. Facing the guilt involved with past addiction-driven behavior is painful, but it’s a lot less painful when a group of supportive and understanding fellows is right there with you. If you or a loved one is struggling with a substance use disorder, Mountain Laurel Recovery Center is here to help.

Managing shame and guilt in addiction: A pathway to recovery

A person may begin to realize the harm their actions or words have had on their loved ones, which can create intense feelings of guilt. Guild and shame are common emotions people experience throughout life, especially during addiction recovery, but what’s the difference between the two? Below, you’ll learn about the differences between the two emotions and how they affect a person’s life.

Both of these emotions are similar, in that they deal with remorse and inadequacies – the same feelings that often compel users to start taking drugs. While guilt is typically on the surface, shame happens internally and can significantly affect how you view yourself. Guilt is feeling bad for doing something, but shame is about internalizing that guilt and believing that you are a terrible person because of what you did. Shame can lead to negative thoughts or actions that impact you more deeply. Equipped with this knowledge, a person can take action to prevent these feelings in the future or improve their reactions to these uncomfortable feelings.

How to Break the Shame Cycle in Recovery

If a person feels guilty, that may help them not do the same thing again. Shame may also prevent a person from doing something, realizing it will make them feel shame. The guilt and shame can work for you in a sense then, but the negative impacts of the emotions still need to be addressed. Ohio Addiction Recovery Center is proud to be a trusted source of care for those struggling with an addiction to alcohol or other drug. Our facility in Columbus, OH, offers focused detox programs and other resources to help people end their substance abuse and build a drug-free future.

What is the major difference between guilt and shame?

Guilt is indeed concerned with one's responsibility for a harmful attitude or behavior. By contrast, shame implies a nonmoral negative self-evaluation. Note that “nonmoral” is not synonym to “immoral”. By “nonmoral” we mean that shame is not focused on responsibility issues.

Being able to differentiate between guilt and shame is important because it can influence your behaviors and reactions. For example, guilt often motivates you to apologize, correct a mistake, or make amends with someone you’ve wronged. Shame, on the other hand, influences actions that are self-destructive and thoughts that are negative and self-deprecating. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and you’re not a bad person for your addiction. Fighting against your substance use takes courage, and part of your recovery process includes asking for forgiveness from the people you may have hurt.

If your feelings are too overpowering to deal with alone, talk to your doctor or counselor. Don’t look to the past mistakes of drugs or alcohol to cope with them. A therapist can help you identify and treat the underlying causes of guilt and shame so you can go on to a full recovery. Concerning drug addiction, guilt and shame are very important. A person may suffer from some childhood trauma and seek substances to ease the pain of guilt.

guilt and shame in recovery

He also is not only a physician, but knows addiction from the inside, and has committed to recovery for years and years, he’s made a huge amount of difference in the recovery world only to his story. And before that I grew up in a family where there was addiction to my family. And this would follow from Stephen Porges, his research on the gut brain, you think about shame, what is shame? Shame is if I step on your foot, you’re going to reject me. And if you think about this, evolutionarily, I need you, we need each other, we survive longer if we stay connected.

Learn to live with your mistakes and the lessons they taught you. The act of gratitude can even rewire your brain and activate the parts of it that produce dopamine. It’s often said that we can be our worst critics. Treating yourself with compassion and learning to https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-to-overcome-shame-and-guilt-in-recovery/ forgive yourself can be hard, but it also can raise your self-esteem and self-worth. Talking through your shame – especially with someone who can show you empathy – can be extremely cathartic. It is also one of the building blocks of cognitive behavioral therapy.

So if we can develop a practice, and I’ve been practicing it daily, I did it this morning, I did it while I swim. Shame paralyzes us, shame actually enslaves us. And so I realize it’s definitions, but it’s really important that at least people understand the way I’m defining them. Shame, however, goes a step further than guilt.

The people you surround yourself with can play a significant role in how you overcome your shame and guilt. Some people may be determined to make you pay back for your past actions, even if you’ve already apologized and done what you could to make amends. These individuals aren’t ideal people to surround yourself with as you’re going through your recovery. Our substance abuse-only treatment programs include detox, residential and partial hospitalization program (PHP).

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